Four Facts about BDSM Relationships Worth Knowing

Entering the “uncharted territory” of BDSM practices and lifestyle may be pretty nerve-wrecking, but you can help yourself get more familiar with the culture by reading and hearing as much as possible about it. In this article you will find some facts about BDSM relationships that will help you better understand the whole concept and hopefully provide you with some guidelines for future actions.

BDSM Is Primarily about Trust, Not Pain

Obviously, the first word that jumps to most people’s minds when they hear “BDSM” is “pain”, but a healthy BDSM relationship is not about that. A slave first gets to know and grows to trust their future master, and only then do their kinky adventures begin. Also, not all BDSM practices have to involve pain, sometimes they are based on emotional interaction between partners.

Collars Are Very Important

If you start meeting new people through BDSM hookups or meetings, it may be pretty challenging to guess what you can and can’t do or say. Well, here’s one thing you definitely shouldn’t do: don’t touch the collar of another person without their explicit permission. In BDSM relationships, a collar is basically like a ring for “vanilla” couples because it is a symbol of the bond between two people. However, the notion is taken much further, so a collar worn by the sub usually signifies that they are willing to give the dom control of their body and emotions. In short, collars are regarded as something sacred in the BDSM community, so be sure to be respectful about them.

“Coming Out” Is Often Pretty Difficult

Since our society is much more open to the idea of a vanilla relationship, telling other people that you’re into BDSM may be very difficult (think of the hurdles that most LGBT community members face). Depending on who you’re talking to, your enjoyment of a good spanking may be perceived as natural, cool, weird  or downright disturbing. Thus, don’t ever be ashamed of your chosen lifestyle, but “know your audience” and learn to figure out when the knowledge about your true relationship preferences may be better off left to yourself.

There Is Judgment in the BDSM Community, Too

It would seem that people who all embrace such a different lifestyle should understand each other really well and be supportive, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. The BDSM community does have its fair share of problems, so you may get judged for being a switch, a submissive man, or a dominant woman. If you do experience that at BDSM events or in private conversations, don’t get discouraged: it is only you who can decide what feels right and what doesn’t.