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20 August 2019, 5:01

First Meeting with Mistress: BDSM Etiquette Rules

It is generally accepted that the most difficult task is to find a thematic partner, and then – a spark, a flash, madness – and everything went like clockwork. But it was not there. The first meeting with Mistress is a real exam or an interview. Call it whatever you like, but it is these peculiar “festivities” that determine whether you will succeed or not.

Be Polite and Punctual

The Tops are always addressed to polite “you”, remember this rule and never go to the familiar “you”. When making an appointment, remember about your comfort as well, do not insist, but do not agree if you are uncomfortable with the place or time. You have not yet been promised anything, you should not begin to serve until you have been asked about this.

Come on time. Everyone knows about the politeness of kings; few people remember about the excitement. Yes, you may have a nervous breakdown while you are going to the Mistress, but this is not a reason to be late or even didn’t come. Ideally, come in advance, about ten minutes earlier, and send a short SMS with the text: "I am waiting for You at the appointed place." Firstly, you will let know that exactly are in place and your intentions are serious. And secondly, you will have time to catch your breath and calm down.

Take Your Time with Gifts and Flowers

Remember that this is the first meeting where you only find out the needs and desires of each other. Excessive enthusiasm can play against you, so try to moderate your ardor, even if your head is already spinning. Do not give flowers if you do not know which ones the Mistress prefers. Classic red roses are not the best option, given their importance – passion and desire. You have not yet been allowed to talk about it so loudly. But if you ask the Mistress what flowers she loves, you must give them.

Separate Gallantry and Ministry

Nobody cancelled politeness and courtesy, but do not go too far. Demonstrate your willingness to serve the Mistress, but do not do too much. For example, it would be polite to move a chair for her, but beyond measure, pay dinner for her.

Do not kneel in a public place, do not kiss her hands and do not try to predict the desire, if you do not get at least some hint that she expects this from you. An outstretched hand or look (eyebrow movement) will be good signals.

At the end of the evening do not scatter in thanks and pleas. Believe me, your restraint will be appreciated much more than flattery and helpfulness. You can ask permission to call or write later. And having arrived home, write an e-mail with thanks and express your hopes for a future relationship, if everything was decided for you during this meeting. But if the Mistress says that she needs time to make her decision – wait. Silently. That is, do not call or write to her until she herself contacts you.

The subtleties of BDSM relationships are always invisible, as they are hidden behind the vanilla courtship and behavior of an ordinary couple, however, this should be visible and understandable to those who are in the Theme. Simple rules and attentiveness will help you get what you want.