Leave Me Alone: Abandonment Play

Abandonment play can be part of a fantasy or a complete independent practice. Most often it is used by D/S pairs, since a submissive develops a much stronger connection and dependence on the Top partner than in other pairs.

However, despite the simplicity of execution, not every Dominant can decide on this game – to bind, immobilize, confine to furniture – and leave, leaving the submissive in complete solitude and waiting for his return. To some extent, it is similar to some attributes of the pet-play, but here is a completely different basis and other risks from the practice.

The Risks of Abandonment Play

The basis of the abandonment play is fear. Fear that the Master will not return. Accordingly, all types of games are designed to ensure that the submissive is immersed in this feeling. Further, this feeling is complemented by helplessness – If your game suggests this, or by limited movement.

Depending on the chosen option, the degree of trust in the pair and the state of the submissive, the game can be dangerous for several reasons:

• at the very height of the session — that is, abandonment play — the bottom may need help, but no one will be there, and he will not be able to let you know that he needs something;
• panic and a feeling of loneliness can overwhelm the submissive with its head and cause serious disorders;
• too long or too often leaving the submissive alone can destroy the connection in a pair, v*****e trust.

Abandoned Practice Tips

Not all submissions are lucky with experienced Top, but this does not mean that they are deprived of the opportunity to try new things or expand their borders. However, if such games attract both partners and experience is not enough, you can start small.

During the initial practices, focus on the fact of abandonment, not on distance. A partner may be in another room, on another floor – in relative proximity, but not accessible for physical and visual contact. Also, do not try to completely immobilize and fix the submissive, leave him or her freedom of movement around the room, for example. You can educate a partner by periodically checking his condition, “using” him and leaving again.

If the boundaries have already been expanded and the comfort zone has been checked, it is time to expand. Add other elements to the game: tie more tightly, leave for a longer period, long distance. Specify in advance the preliminary rules for such interaction – the submissive should be able to report its discomfort.

If during the game Master is planning to leave his slave for a long period, the submissive must have a way to contact a partner or quick response services. In addition, it is good if he has at least one arm free, there is access to a bathroom, water and food.

Remember, the main rule of any BDSM games and practices is safety, observe all safety measures, immersing yourself in fears and the depths of your desires.