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26 February 2019, 9:27

Change of Roles in An Established Couple: Harm and Benefits

The established pairs are called so because they have already established rules and norms that are strictly followed by both partners. However, psychologists also argue that this is even necessary, changing roles can diversify sex, sessions and become a pleasant dessert in thematic relationships.

Down with Stereotypes and Labels

It is believed that if one of the partners has already chosen the position of the Top, then its change is no longer possible. This does not apply to switches that practice this all the time. And yet, a change of role for the duration of the game or for a short period of time does not make from the Top Switch and, moreover, does not turn him into the Bottom. The one-time game is just a game. No need to attach so much importance to this.

As well as the Bottom, it will not suddenly begin to rule constantly, if one day he feels his power and strength over the Top. Changing roles does not pose a threat to an established couple also because everyone already knows about their preferences and the things that turn them on.

A Minute of Frankness

It all starts with desire. It is important to initially understand where this desire came from, whether it is mutually and whether it is worth to embody this fantasy at all. For example, in a D/S couple, the submissive will submit to the will of the Mistress or the Master but is unlikely to enjoy the fun if he has no need or desire to change roles.

If you want to exchange only for sex, then everything becomes much simpler, because the position in sex has little effect on the position of the partner in the couple, because even a blowjob or cunnilingus can be done by order or with the permission of the Top. Therefore, the planting of one's desire can bring additional pleasure to the Top, but the Bottom can be traumatized, and then a couple are expected for new troubles.

Plan or Improvisation?

There can be no improvisations when changing roles. Never. Firstly, such a role will be unusual for the Bottom and he may become confused, and secondly, the status quo must be observed to the end. Both need to voice their expectations, preferences, desires, fears and taboos in advance. This does not necessarily have to look like a meeting of shareholders, you can even turn the discussion into an exciting and sensual game, but you can’t skip this step in any way.

In order not to disrupt the harmony of relationships by changing roles, the Bottom should still feel the care of the Top, feel important and necessary throughout the game. Therefore, if you want him to take action, let him ask for permission to do so. If you are expecting an initiative from him, clearly outline what he can do and what not.

Of course, changing roles in an established couple may require a much greater concentration of attention and effort from the Top, however, if you practice such games more often, you can achieve the desired result faster. They say the longer the journey, the sweeter the reward. So, it remains to be tested in practice.