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12 March 2019, 11:01

Dynamics in BDSM Relationships: How Important Is It?

One of the BDSM myths says that with time, even the most serious and most painful and dangerous practices become scarce. Then the relationship is waiting for an inevitable end because partners can give nothing more to each other. Is the escalation of relations in BDSM couples so important, is development and dynamics needed? It is rather difficult to answer this question with one sentence; therefore, we will reflect.

Standard Model of Relationship Development

Standard relationships develop according to a predetermined plan: a couple gets to know each other, looks closely, begins dating, eventually moves in, gets married and has children. If at any of these stages there are failures or breaks, everything begins again for each partner, but with someone else. That is, in fact, no one can pause, rewind, or press Ctrl + Z if something goes wrong. There will be no second attempt.

However, there are couples who are trying to return to a relationship, discarding the past but let's be honest, this is not enough for anyone. Society asserts that any relationship must develop, lead to the final goal – marriage and reproduction. If the relationship gets stuck at some stage, they are already considered deadlocked or even dead.

Dynamics in BDSM Pair

The basis for building relationships in a BDSM couple is total trust. And this is equally important for both the session couple and the pair of lovers who also practice BDSM. If whipping is just seasoning and variety in sex, then the dynamics will follow the pattern of standard relationships. But how are things going in pairs, where BDSM is at the forefront?

As a rule, thematics know their limits or are ready to explore them with a reliable partner. This means that even if the practices become more complex or the more dangerous ones are used, they can stop. In addition, the stop word was invented for a reason. However, there are a number of factors under which the ability to stop is simply turned off: a very high pain threshold, deep psychological trauma, the use of BDSM for sublimation, etc. In this case, the dynamics of the relationship need to slow down as much as possible.

Dynamics or Diversity?

And yet, what is the dynamics in a BDSM relationship? Is this the application of new practices? Deepening already familiar? The study of the boundaries of what is permitted? All these are just a variety that makes the sessions interesting and hot, allowing to sink into the new depths of physical pleasure.

Dynamics is the deepening of trust in a couple. It is important to distinguish the atrophy of fear from the highest degree of trust. After all, not to be afraid in BDSM means indifference, but to trust – to know that the Master or Mistress will not harm. Accordingly, the more open partners in a BDSM couple, the more they can give each other pleasure, regardless of the depth of cuts, the strength of the blows or the degree of humiliation.