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27 August 2019, 10:35

Inexperienced Dominant and Experienced Submissive

The generally accepted opinion that there must be an experienced dominant in a D/S pair is broken up into a simple question: where does the dominant gain experience? Reading forums and books, attending seminars, and talking to others like yourself are great options, but nothing is more stimulating than good practice.

Bottom Control

Management from below is one of the few things that is almost always in Taboo at the top. Allowing yourself to be manipulated means losing all the dominant power, therefore this is not allowed. However, if they do not govern from below, but teach, this is a completely different matter.

Where is that thin line between learning and management? The easiest way to pronounce and explain everything, and then consolidate in practice. This will be a kind of university for the top. But if the bottom one is trying to push the upper one to some actions on an intuitive level, this is pure manipulation.

An inexperienced dominant can explore its borders, so a more experienced bottom partner can serve as support on this journey. The main thing is not to forget your place and not to turn from a submissive into a caring like-minded person.

An experienced bottom one can indicate errors of the top one only if it is agreed in advance, otherwise, any connections and relationships can be easily destroyed in this way. Dominants rarely endure when they are poked with their nose into something by bottom one.

Session Couple or Training Partners?

If there are so many pitfalls, is it worth it to make up such a session pair or is it better to leave everything at the student-teacher level, without transferring the relationship in another direction?

Practice shows that control from below usually ends badly – the couple breaks up with the negative impressions of each other from and the feeling of deceived hopes. If the bottom one teaches the top one to be top, it may lose the ability to perceive the Dominant as his top partner, and not as an abstract student.

A delicate balance between training practices and real sessions will help such a pair stay together. But it is nevertheless necessary to clearly distinguish: when the top one is studying, and when he dominates for real. They say that with a 24/7 relationship in a D/S pair, a serious bevel occurs, and so this kind of switching roles can, on the contrary, benefit.

Unfortunately, most often these couples do not hold too long and go in search of more suitable partners. This also reveals a certain regularity of BDSM relations – If the partners did not agree on some practice or on a key issue, no one torments anyone with their presence. BDSM relationships in a pair should be fun, whatever it may be.