Is There a Difference Between Abuse and BDSM?
Is there a difference between abuse and BDSM?
One common misconception about BDSM is that it is dangerous and abusive. Thankfully, it is a myth and BDSM is practiced properly it is the exact opposite of intimate partner abuse.
What Is BDSM?
BDSM-friendly people have always stated that their kinks are safe, consensual, and greatly benefit all people involved. Over the past decade, scientists have also confirmed this fact. Their studies have found that BDSM practitioners are more mentally stable and their relationships are more satisfying.
However, people who are unfamiliar with the BDSM scene are left to wonder: “How can people who call themselves masters, mistresses, and slaves have healthy, non-abusive relationships?” Well they can and statistics prove it. A study done in 2016 by Northern Illinois University shows that people who enjoy BDSM are also more mindful of consent, since it is a foundation for all types of kinky practices. It appears that these people have significantly lower levels of rape myth acceptance, victim blaming, and benevolent sexism and the control group of average college undergraduates.
Many may still doubt these findings. Since how can a person who has a trample fetish or is looking for a slave can have a non-abusive relationship? What is important to know is that abusive behavior has absolutely no place in a BDSM relationship, but how do you tell the difference?
Consent is the Cornerstone of All BDSM Practices
Consent is one of the primary factors that separate BDSM and abuse. In other words, BDSM is completely consensual, while abuse is not.
Before the beginning of each BDSM scene, all people who are involved in it discuss (or even write out) their wishes, desires, as well as soft and hard limits. Therefore, everything is agreed-upon beforehand, so that there won’t be any surprises. This step is extremely important, because some BDSM fetishes such as flogging or ballbusting can be pretty extreme.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual are Principles that Guide BDSM Community
These principles are extremely important during any type of sex play, as they ensure that any kinks that participants may have are not abusive.
As you can see, BDSM community is very serious about keeping its members safe and happy, much more so than regular people can hope to be.