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01 December 2018, 10:42

The Essence of Dominant and Submissive Relationships

The essence of dominant and submissive relationships

Dominance and submission (D/s) is a major aspect of BDSM which many people can’t live without. Dominance and submission shouldn’t be confused with sadomasochism because the latter is more about physical interactions while the former is all about power.

If you love to have power dynamics in your relationship, you should definitely get a taste for D/s play. Though it should be noted that power play is so common in relationships that people don’t even consider it to be a kink. Of course, regular people don’t normally teach themselves on how to train a slave nor are they looking for a mistress. Nevertheless, people often fantasize about actually owning their sexual partner or being a naughty pet for their BDSM master.

What should you expect from a D/s relationship?

People often think that a Dom/sub relationship is a 24/7 commitment. It may be true for some, but the majority of people act as a master and slave only in pre-arranged scenes. Such scenes do not necessarily involve sex, and can be as simple as serving food or giving a massage. However, during the scene, the dominant person will give orders to their sub and maybe even punish them. People often role play a certain power-based relationship; for example an interaction between a corrupt cop and a helpless detainee, or a cruel BDSM mistress and an obedient slave.

Sometimes people enjoy more prolonged periods of D/s dynamics in their lives. For example, they may do their D/s play on weekends or during the full duration of holidays and vacations. Few people are committed enough to maintain a Dom/sub relationship 27/7 and make it part of their lifestyle. However, it can be so subtle that few people will even notice.

What’s the difference between a ‘Vanilla’ relationship and a Dom/sub one?

In reality, there isn’t much of a difference between a Dom/sub relationship and a ‘vanilla’ one in terms of power-play. In every relationship there is always someone who is more dominant in everyday life and makes the majority of decisions, or someone who is more dominant in bed.

However, what truly sets a D/s relationship apart from a ‘vanilla’ one is the level of communication and consent. It may be surprising to some people, but a relationship between a BDSM slave and their master is based on more consent than a regular one. For people, who are a part of the BDSM community, consent is paramount. Before any scene is played out, everyone involved talks freely about their wants and needs, likes and dislikes, and only then everyone proceeds. In ‘vanilla’ relationships honest communication between sexual partners is very rare and people usually try to sort it all out intuitively (which is next to impossible in most cases).